Nice guys still exist. You just have to break their shells/skulls to get to the soft squishy soul part.

Let me tell you a story...
A story of a man who was half man, half sting-ray. His name was Joseph.
He used to get teased by his peers for having gills and a tail. But he was persistent he tried to socialize, he tried to become a regular person but he could not, because he was part fish. But one day, he saw an ad on TV for a plastic surgery clinic 4 blocks from his house. He got some money of his savings account and proceeded to change his pathetic life forever.

Upon arriving at the clinic, he saw many things. People getting the fat sucked out of them by giant hoses, women getting 20 pounds of saline implanted into their chests, 80 year old women getting their faces pulled to look like they were a 20 year old corpse. He saw all those things, but he knew that his horrible deformities would be eliminated, and he would be free of being part sting-ray.

The doctors arrived, took a look at him and whisked him away to the operating room. There, the doctors took hours to remove his tail, close his gills, re-color his skin, and transplant some parts. Hours after the surgery, he awoke. He did not feel like himself; he felt... different. He looked at his hands... no webbed fingers. He looked at his butt... no tail. He looked at his sides... no gills. He was a normal human being. He thanked the doctor and forked over $70,000 to cover the surgery.

He walked out of the clinic with his head high, and his new chin pointed to the sun as he shouted "I'm ready for you, world!" and ran off to the mall. There, he saw people just like him, people he could talk to, he saw, friends. He spotted a group of kids with black shirts, chains on their pants and grease in their hair. As he approached, he heard they were discussing "Gears of War 2". Being an avid gamer, Joseph jumped into the conversation. They discussed the game for hours and hours and then, something happened. Joseph started to realize they didn't really know much about Gears of War 2. Suddenly, the conversation shifted into "Kingdom Hearts". Right the and there, he realized, those were not avid gamers, they were just plain Geeks... ANIME GEEKS. The conversation then shifted back and forth from Bleach, then Naruto, then Death Note, then Kingdom Hears, then Final Fantasy 7. Then Joseph realized... THEY WEREN'T ANIME GEEKS! They didn't know what Neon Genesis Evangelion was. They had never seen Robotech nor did they know it was not a real show. They didn't know that Disney inspired manga or that Chromartie Highscool was funnier than Bobobo.

There he realized... They're FAKE GEEKS. They're POSING as geeks, and doing a horrible job at it. Joseph started flailing like a maniac and called them fake wannabe geeks. Then, one of them got up and said "We are otaku, not geeks." That blatant show of ignorance INFURIATED Joseph and he proceded to beat the crap out of him. In the rampage, his gills re-opened, his tail uncoiled, his gray pigment came back... but he didn't care. He used his Sting-ray parts to beat the group of geeks to a pulp.

He quickly realized the operation was a fraud, and that he had just lost $70,000 on a bogus procedure. He ran to the clinic where he had been and furiously searched for the doctor. Once he found him, he took the money back and threw the doctor off the roof.

He went back to his home, heated a can of Campbell's Cream of Asparagus, and sat down to watch "The Transporter" in the safety of his home. His adventure was over...

But, the doctor's corpse wriggled with life, and yelled for revenge on Joseph!

TO BE CONTINUED.

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Thank you for the and the +watch.

Dankeschön :]

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